Good Morning: We’re in The 21st Century

Sex sells. I get that. Women every where get that. We’ve all used our looks to get into, or out of, situations. I am no less guilty of this than anyone else.

When I’m pulled over for speeding, it’s easier for me to smile and try to flirt my way out of a ticket, than to actually get a ticket. I don’t sit there and think “No. This will set the Feminist Movement back a few decades.” I’m not a stereotypical Feminist. I shave my legs, I wear bras, and I enjoy wearing dresses and looking sexy.

Hell, I just used a little bit of sex to sell this blog post to you. Sex sells, there’s no denying that.

While I don’t look, or act, like the widespread stereotype of a Feminist, in practice I am very much one. I’m financially independent, I respect myself, and I don’t ask others to fix my problems for me. If you exclude my physical looks and anatomy, how am I any different from a man?

Look, it’s about time we stepped into the 21st Century, where Feminism isn’t about looking and acting “manly”. Today, Feminism isn’t about “Penis Envy”, it’s about being proud to be a woman, with all that “being a woman” entails. It’s about being comfortable with your femininity, while still enjoying equal opportunities as your male counterparts.

It’s been a long, historic battle for women to be seen as equals to men. While we are generally seen as equals in the workplace and in the community, we are not seen as equals when it comes to our sports fandom.

Most of us have to prove ourselves as true fans to our male counterparts. Many men still hold the assumption that female fans don’t know about sports. This is why when I meet a guy, and tell him I’m a sports fan, I am made to feel as though I have to prove this statement. If a man says he’s a sports fan, it’s easily accepted by almost everyone. No further proof is necessary.

Unfortunately, this sexism isn’t only among fans, it is present in sports leagues as well. As an avid sports fan, and Yankees-obsessed baseball fan, I feel as though the wide world of sports doesn’t treat women as equals. Let me break it down for the men out there: Our physical make-up may stop us from playing in your leagues, but our mental and emotional make-up doesn’t stop us from being in your fan base.

A friend, “Tweep”, and fellow sports-fanatic Stefanie Gordon said it best in her blog post: Cluelessness and Sexism is Alive and Well in Sports.

While I do understand that the majority of the general sports fan base is still male, the female fan base is nothing to ignore. In baseball, for example, I would say females are just a little under half of the fan base.

I’d like to take this opportunity to shock a few men out there and inform you that our fandom is about more than wanting to see Alex Rodriguez or Derek Jeter naked. Don’t get me wrong: I would love to see them naked, and I very much appreciate how attractive some of the players are, but I would love baseball even if every player looked like Kevin Youkilis or Alexi Ogando. Baseball itself comes first for me. The attractiveness of players? That’s just an added, unimportant bonus.

I have met many female sports fans who know more about sports than your average male fans. Whether it’s in baseball, football, soccer, basketball or hockey, I can name at least five female friends of mine who know more about these sports than my male friends.

Surprise! It’s 2011. Women can be just as knowledgeable about sports as men are. We are no longer confined to the kitchen, only to appear during halftime or between innings. We are no longer only allowed to be fans for our love of staring at men. We are sitting (or standing) right there next to men at every single game, sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. Many of us are season-ticket holders, sports writers and journalists, sports executives, analysts, television/radio show hosts, and generally sports-obsessed.

While sex does sell, it can also alienate. This is how many female fans feel about the way sports are marketed in America, and the world.

Whether you look at promotional events, or even the sale of sports gear, leagues still view women in a way that suggests we only care about “looking cute while looking at cute guys”.

Try shopping online for your team’s gear. You will notice that most merchandise is marketed for men, not for both men and women. Generally speaking, the merchandise that is marketed for women is either something sexy, or something predominately pink. Before you say anything, I recognize that many women enjoy wearing pink gear to games. I am not saying that teams should stop tailoring to these wants, because that would be a stupid business move. Pink gear (unfortunately) brings in money, so by no means am I suggesting that they should cease to exist (although, I would love nothing more than to never see another pink hat at Yankee Stadium). What I’m saying is that the majority of the female fan base would like to see the real team gear marketed towards us.

Even when it comes to promoting the sport itself, it is done so in a sexist way. General approach to marketing sports is playing the “TESTOSTERONE!!!” card. You are more of a man if you watch our sports. Why? Because it is the manly thing to do. We always see images of a dad taking his son to a baseball game, because “that’s what makes a man”. How often do we see images of a mother taking her daughter to one? Oh, that’s right, sports aren’t for women. Silly me.

In the past, it was usually fathers who instilled the love of sports in their children. Honestly, I am the fan I am today because of my dad. This, however, is no longer the case. I am the one who taught my son about sports. It was me, a woman, who planted the seeds to sports fandom in his mind and heart. If and when I have a daughter, I will do the same. It’s 2011, people. Kindly wake up from your idiotic, sexist comas.

There are many other examples of sexism in sports marketing. I gave you a couple, but if you open your eyes to it, you can find many more every day.

So, why is it that, in 2011, “sex” and “GET YOUR TESTOSTERONE OVERLOAD HERE” are still the main marketing strategies used in sports? While I’m in no way against the fact that sex sells, and in no way denying the hormonal effects sports have on men, I’ve seen a little too much of it. I have been alienated too many times.

“Sex” and “testosterone” generally alienate the female fan base (Caryn  Rose  at Metsgrrl.com discusses this in her blog post: MLB ALIENATES 45% OF THE FAN BASE ONCE AGAIN WITH THE “MLB FAN CAVE.), but this is just as big a slap in the face to men, as it is to women.

If I were a man, I would be insulted by the fact that sports networks and franchises assume I only care about hot women dressed in sports gear, and men beating the crap out of other men. For the true male fans, sex and testosterone aren’t the real reason behind their love of sports. I think everyone can agree with this statement. Well, guess what? For the true female fans, sex and estrogen aren’t the real reasons we love our teams.

I will concede that there are many female fans who can only name the attractive players on the roster, but this no longer describes the majority of women who love sports. This is no more a representation of female fans, as the assumption that “men only want to stare at a lingerie model who knows nothing about sports” is a representation of male fans.

Even if I choose to ignore the fact that female fans need to be more respected for their knowledge in the world of sports, and look at it from a pure marketing standpoint, it is idiotic. Alienating a large chunk of the fan base is a business opportunity lost.

Dear MORONS in charge of sports marketing: Women bring you money, too. The majority of us care about more than “looking cute while looking at cute guys”, so start marketing more than those products to us.

I am done denying the fact that sports teams are businesses, as are sports leagues. So from both, a fan’s viewpoint and a business standpoint, sports leagues need to start marketing to the real female sports fan.

How about a little love for us? How about showing some appreciation to those of us who rock the real authentic jerseys, and appreciate the sport for what it is, what it was, and what it will be? How about taking a little time off from selling sex, and spend a little time on viewing women as equals to men in the world of sports fandom?

As a female Yankees fan living in the Middle East, I’m awake up for 3:00am first-pitches. It could be a complete blowout, and I will not stop watching the game before the 54th out is made. I can discuss our entire active roster and – here’s the shocker – our 40-man roster, too! I spend every day of every Winter discussing trades and acquisitions, and counting down the minutes to the first pitch of the Spring. I watch every Spring Training game. For the Yankees, I watch 162 regular season games, and every playoff game. When it’s a Yankees off-day, I will watch other baseball games.

I live and die with every Yankees pitch, every Yankees base-hit, and baseball controls my life April-October. When I lived in New York, I went to as many Yankees games as I could. I went to promotional events, autograph signings, and stood in line waiting for book sales.

If this doesn’t make me a “diehard fan”, I don’t know what does. So when I’m met with the sexism present in sports today, I am not only offended, but also disgusted. Why does my anatomy make me any less of a fan than my male counterparts?

I am not the only woman who is this way, and feels insulted by sports. There are as many “diehards” in the female fan base as there are in the male. The percentage of fair-weather, bandwagon, and idiotic fans in the female fan base is about equal to the percentage of these “fans” in the male fan base.

So, how about baseball, and sports in general, stop insulting women with their incredibly inaccurate stereotypes? We care about more than “looking cute while looking at cute guys.” Wake up, MLB. Wake up NFL, NBA, MLS and NHL. Stop being moronic and insulting your true female fan base.

Without us, you wouldn’t have a league worth promoting.

Are You Ready?

As I sit down to write this blog entry, my hands are shaking with excitement. My heart is racing, and my head is filled with dreams of what this year will bring…

HAPPY OPENING DAY, YANKEES FANS!

The Big Day has finally arrived! In a matter of hours, our men in Pinstripes will jog onto the field for the first time in the 2011 season. The first pitch of the season will be thrown, the first hit of the season will come, and all the questions of the preseason will eventually be answered. Baseball is back, and the long, wonderful, exciting, and emotionally draining road to The Fall Classic is about to begin.

Coming into the 2011 season, many people are calling the Yankees the “underdogs” in the American League East race. Personally, I think it’s ridiculous to say that so early on, but I’ll take it. Most people are saying the Yankees won’t win the division. I am very much enjoying this, because I have faith in our team. This team is built to win, and underestimating the Yankees will get you into trouble.

No one is doubting our hitters. Our batting lineup is one that fans of other teams dream of. No one is doubting our bullpen (I like to call it the No-Bull ‘Pen), thanks to our God, Mariano, and our setup man who is actually a solid closer. The doubts and questions lie in our starting rotation.

Will A.J. Burnett bounce back after a horrifyingly bad 2010? Will Phil Hughes continue to flourish? Will Ivan Nova turn out to be a winner? Will Freddy Garcia be able to hold down his spot? Will we be able to do it all without Andy Pettitte? These questions and more have been asked over the past few months, and the current answer is: Nobody knows for sure. There is a reason each team plays 162 games during the regular season, and anyone who calls it quits on a team before a single game is played doesn’t know how baseball works.

I am quite the optimist. I predict that the answers to the questions I asked above will all be “Yes”. I have faith in this team, and faith in this organization. I’ve seen several “bad” Yankees teams in my lifetime, and the 2011 Yankees team is not one of them. As I said before, this team is built to win. Never underestimate the power of The Pinstripes.

I am in no way underestimating the strength of the Boston Red Sox this season. They, too, have built a strong team, and will be quite the force in the American League East. I am not underestimating the rest of the teams in our division, but most of us believe the Red Sox will be our strongest competition this year. Our division as a whole, however, has become stronger. With all due respect to all the teams in Major League Baseball, the American League East division will once again be the toughest this year. Having said that, I do believe the Yankees have all the components to come out on top in the end. Now it’s time to play the games and “put up or shut up”.

No more predictions. No more “what if” scenarios. Only baseball. Almost every day. From now until the World Series.

What everyone needs to remember is that the Major League Baseball season is a marathon, not a sprint. The players need to pace themselves, as do the fans. A few losses in April and May could very well mean nothing in August and September. I will say this much, though: We might not have the luxury of starting off as cold this season as we have in the past. Every win will be a step closer to winning what should be a very heated race for the division title.

I could do without Mark Teixeira’s annual April Slump this year. I could also do without a plague of injuries. I’m already missing Andy Pettitte. I’d like to see A.J. Burnett staying away from his “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde” impressions this season, and I’d like to see Phil Hughes’ “Philthy-ness” again. I want to see Robinson Cano continue to dominate his position, and I’m happy to see Brett Gardner hitting lead-off. I’m ecstatic about Sergio Mitre no longer being with us, and I’d like to see as little of Francisco Cervelli this year as possible. I’m excited about seeing which prospects will be called up throughout the season, and whatever necessary acquisitions will be made to strengthen our weaknesses. I have high hopes for 2011, and it all begins in a matter of hours.

No one knows what the end of the season will bring. I’m aiming for the division title, but in all reality, that might not happen. I’m ready to begin the 162 games it takes to decide our fate. I’m ready for the wins, and for the losses. I’m ready for the hot streaks, and cold slumps. I’m ready to begin living and dying with every pitch again.

I’m ready for baseball. Are you?

Andy Pettitte, Thank You.

In the early days of May in 1995, I was 11 years old and growing into my Yankees fandom. I hadn’t tasted glory yet, and had heard about World Series victories from my dad, but never experienced them. It was a Saturday, and my dad woke me up early that morning and said “If you finish your homework  for the weekend, I’ll take you to the Yankees game today.” Being a baseball fanatic from a young age, I went into turbo-homework-mode and finished it all as fast as I could. We couldn’t always afford to go to games that year – especially since my dad worked most weekends – so I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity. I put on my cap and my #23 jersey, and we were on our way to Yankee Stadium.

It was a nice, sunny day at The House That Babe Built. The weather was perfect for some early afternoon baseball. We were to play the Milwaukee Brewers, and I was quickly saddened by the news that my hero, Don Mattingly, wasn’t in the starting lineup, having played the night before. The game seemed to go by very quickly, and our Yankees were shutout through 8 innings by the Milwaukee starter.

In the 9th inning, a “kid” by the name of Andrew Eugene Pettitte relieved Joe Ausanio, who had relieved our starter that day, Jimmy Key. Key and Ausanio had given up 3 runs in 8 innings, and Pettitte was brought in to close out the game. I hadn’t seen him pitch before, so I was excited at the promise of what could be. It wasn’t the most impressive of performances from Andy. He gave up 2 runs before the Brewers’ second baseman (my mind is drawing a blank on the name) grounded into a double play to end the top of the inning.

The Yankees managed to score two runs in the bottom of the 9th on a Jim Leyritz (my hero’s replacement for the game) home run. It was too little, too late, and we lost the game 5-2.

I don’t remember every game in such detail, because that is impossible. That day, however, I remember. Maybe because 1995 was a year in which my dad didn’t take me to as many games as he normally did, or maybe I just felt that it would be something I’d want to remember for the rest of my life. Either way, that day is cemented in my mind as one of my favorite games I’ve ever been to.

Remembering that day, and remembering my dad and uncle discussing Pettitte’s pitching on our way home, I now laugh when I think of my uncle saying “I don’t think this Pettitte kid has what it takes to make it in the bigs.”

To this day, I enjoy reminding my uncle of how wrong he was with his post-game assessment of Andy Pettitte. I also learned a valuable lesson as a result: Give a young pitcher a chance to grow into his own skin before you write him off as a bust.

Today, 16 years later, I look back at that day as the beginning of an amazing era, in which Andy Pettitte became the second-best left-handed pitcher in Yankees history. An era in which Pettitte not only dominated his field, but also dominated our hearts. An era in which Pettitte became “Big Game Andy”, the most winningest postseason pitcher of all time.

Today, 16 years after The Andy Era began, it came to an end. I can no longer hold back my tears as I write this post.

The news of Andy Pettitte’s retirement hit me hard. I’ve been trying to prepare myself for this day, but all of my preparation flew out the window when I read the words: “Yankees Andy Pettitte will announce his retirement tomorrow, at Yankee Stadium.”

I am not exaggerating when I say that I felt as though I had been hit by a bus. It’s a feeling I had only twice before in my Yankee fandom: The day Don Mattingly retired when I was 11 years old, and the first time I saw Don Mattingly wearing a Dodgers uniform when I was 24 years old. While I’ve certainly had my “downs” to go with the “ups” of my life as a Yankees fanatic, nothing has been as painful to me as those three moments.

I think of Andy Pettitte, and so much comes to mind. The numbers, the statistics, the clutch performances, the stop-losses, the postseasons, the World Series, the pick-offs and, of course, The Stare. But all of those things don’t even come close to describing what Andy Pettitte was, and will always be to diehard Yankees fans.

As fan(atic)s, we live and we die with every pitch of every game. From the beginning of April until (God willing) the end of October, we put so much effort and passion into following our Yankees. Many players don’t seem to appreciate that. Andy Pettitte was different.

As we held our breaths with every wind-up, Pettitte put his heart and soul into every pitch he threw. He did it for his team, for himself, for his respect of the game, and for his fans. Not once have we been let down by Andy Pettitte. Whether it’s on the field or off, every Yankees fan is proud to have him donning The Pinstripes.

Those who played alongside Pettitte admire him. Those who faced Pettitte respect him. Yankees fans are in love with him. True baseball fans tip their hats to him. Andy Pettitte is a once-in-a-lifetime pitcher. While many of you will certainly disagree with me, I can’t help but put him up with the rest of the Yankees legends.

Many have been quick to bring up the Hall Of Fame discussions. I cannot bring myself to do so, or even think about it. Not yet. I will eventually, but not now. Others have began to discuss whether or not the number ’46’ should be retired. Again, it’s too soon for this. Several fans have also been quick to bring up the one mistake Andy Pettitte made in his career, while others were quick to say “he left us for three years”. Now is not the time for any of this. Now is the time to celebrate an amazing career, and mourn its end.

As I mourn the end of his career, I will forever have one regret: I wasn’t able to see Andy Pettitte pitch live in his final season. I wasn’t able to give him the standing ovation he deserved that final time he walked off the field. Being 7,000 miles away, as well as going through difficult personal circumstances, I’ve been kept away from seeing my favorite starting pitcher pitching in his final season. Had I known it would be his last, I would have done the impossible to go to Yankee Stadium. I will regret not doing so for the rest of my life.

My fellow fans, the end of an era has begun. Our “Core Four” are no more, and we are down to three. It is almost impossible to imagine not seeing Andy Pettitte alongside Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, and Jorge Posada, although we have had a taste of it before. His years with the Astros seem like a lifetime ago, and I’ve almost blocked them from my memory entirely. Hopefully, we will make it to the World Series this year. I have faith in our team and our organization. If and when we get there, however, it will be a strange experience for me to not have Andy Pettitte on the mound. I have never seen a Yankees World Series without Pettitte and, as happy as I will be about making it to the Fall Classic, I will shed a tear for Andy’s absence.

Unfortunately, we won’t have much longer to let the reality of this sink in. Spring Training is less than two weeks away, and Andy Pettitte will not be reporting. The day many of us have dreaded for years has finally arrived. Andy Pettitte is no longer an active New York Yankee.

To Andrew Eugene Pettitte, I have this to say:

Thank you for giving me the most amazing memories of my life as a Yankees fan. Thank you for respecting us as fans, yourself as a pitcher, our team as a whole, and our organization for everything it stood for. Thank you for not only adopting our desire to win, but further instilling it in us. Thank you for being our anchor when times were crazy. Thank you for being the calm amidst the storms.

Thank you, Andy, for loving us as much as we love you. Thank you for the glory, for the championships, for the wins. Thank you for being the pitcher we could always depend on when it mattered the most. Thank you for being Big Game Andy.

Thank you for The Stare. The Stare that rattled your opponents, and calmed your fans. The Stare that has become your trademark, and the star of many female fans’ fantasies. Thank you for your class, and for your honesty. Thank you for being a wonderful man, and an amazing Yankee.

Throughout 16 years, you have been one of the most hardworking players in baseball. Now is your time to relax and enjoy the rest of your life. You have earned your retirement. I wish you as much happiness as you have brought to us. Enjoy the time with your family, we all know how important they are to you. You will forever have our love and our respect. Most important of all, you will always have an entire fanbase who will chant your name, and remember every single moment of your amazing career. Those memories will be passed on from generation to generation of Yankees fans. Your career may have ended, but it will last forever in our hearts.

Andy, we love you. Welcome to baseball immortality.

Behind Every Great Player….

… Is a wife that’s trying to get more money.

You probably know where I’m going with this, and you’re right. I’m talking about Cliff Lee’s wife, and her recent comments about how she was treated at Yankee Stadium.

Let me start off by saying that I think it’s absolutely disgusting for any fan to harass a player’s wife. The wives and families of players should not be mistreated. Ever. It is unacceptable, and absolutely classless.

Now, let’s talk about this story for a minute. It really is a non-issue, but it’s our off-season now and we have to talk about something.

During the ALCS games between the Texas Rangers and the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium, some of the fans allegedly spat at Cliff Lee’s wife, Kristen, threw beer at her, and shouted obscenities. She reportedly felt harassed and unsafe, and rightfully so if this happened to her.

If these allegations are indeed true, then I’d like to apologize to Kristen Lee on behalf of all Yankees fans.

I’ve always been skeptical, however, when it comes to the “perfect timing” of stories such as this one.

Cliff Lee, coming off of yet another dominant start against the Yankees, is heading towards free agency in the off-season. The Yankees, coming off of a disappointment in the ALCS, are in the market for a dominant starting pitcher. Is there any baseball fan out there who doesn’t see a Yankee offer going to Cliff Lee?

Now, most fans have been saying “Cliff Lee in pinstripes in 2011″ all season. Personally, I’m one of them. I’d love to see him pitch for us next season. The media has also been talking about Cliff Lee in the Bronx, but they always link every major free agent to the Yankees. As is the case with every off-season, everyone assumes that free agents generally go to the highest bidder. More often than not, that is true. Also, more often than not, the Yankees are the highest bidders for the players they want badly.

So, knowing what we know and going where we’re going, the general consensus is that it’s all about the dollar signs.

Now, could this story have come at a better time? Honestly, it couldn’t have. Now that Mrs. Lee has felt the “animosity” of New York, I’m sure she’ll need something to ease the pain of the emotional scars. Something like… Oh, I don’t know… an extra few million a year to go shopping with? I’m pretty sure the line “My wife likes New York, but she feels threatened and unsafe” will come up at some point in the negotiations, in which case the line “How about we add a few more million to that figure” will come up in return.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming her. I’m not saying she’s wrong for making allegations that are not entirely accurate. For all we know, the incident might have really happened. If it didn’t happen, however, or if she slightly exaggerated what really did happen, then it’s just a bargaining chip going into the off-season negotiations. If I were married to a professional baseball player, and the Yankees were interested in him, I would do whatever it took to support him and get the best deal possible.

At the end of the day, if the harassment was as bad as was initially reported, she could have told stadium security, and it would have been taken care of. In fact, I’d like to think that Yankee Stadium security run a tight ship, and everyone, especially the wives and families of players, are safe and protected.

Cliff Lee pitched in Philadelphia, for Heaven’s sake. I find it hard to believe that Mrs. Lee didn’t attend any of her husband’s games there. I don’t care how much you hate the Yankees, you cannot claim that Yankee Stadium is a more hostile environment than Citizens Bank Park. Surely she must have seen what real harassment looks like. If she hasn’t, she can ask Nick Swisher and Melky Cabrera about how it felt to have coins thrown at them in the outfield.

Since the initial reports of harassment in the Bronx, several articles have surfaced saying Kristen Lee isn’t dwelling on what happened. That it doesn’t make her dislike New York, or affect her opinions and feelings about her husband’s upcoming off-season. Smart woman. Play the card, but don’t burn any bridges. Sit back, relax, and wait for the New York Yankees to make it all better.

To be fair, I’ll say it again: I would have done the same thing.

Spoken Like A True ‘Bandwagon Brat’

The Yankees lost the ALCS in six games. It’s the end of the world! Sell the team, fire Joe Girardi, get rid of all our players, and let’s get our credit cards out and shop for new ones. Some team is bound to have a fire sale this offseason. Let’s jump on that.

Our 2010 team was awful. Our pitchers couldn’t pitch, our hitters couldn’t hit, our manager is a slave to a binder, and our ownership obviously doesn’t want to be successful.

First and foremost, we need to get rid of Nick Swisher. He has heart. So what? Since when does “heart” and “giving all you’ve got” matter in baseball? Character doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he hits in the postseason.

Don’t tell me he has a great attitude. He’s always laughing and smiling. He’s a total clown. Since when are players allowed to have fun playing the game? He needs to be serious like Jorge Posada. That’s how Yankees are supposed to be. He needs to stop smiling, and start hitting in the postseason.

This is the second postseason in which he did not show up. I don’t care how well he played during the 2009 and 2010 seasons, if you can’t hit in the playoffs, you’re a bad player. Don’t give me any of the “small sample size” logic, or tell me that his season numbers helped us get to the playoffs. Since when did a player’s regular season numbers make him good? Don’t you know that it’s all about the postseason?

If we were to only look at regular season numbers, then we’d be fooled into thinking that this Alex Rodriguez character is good at baseball.

LIES!

In six postseasons, A-Rod has only been good in one. That’s a 0.167 average. Clearly we need to get rid of him, too. I don’t care if his season numbers played huge roles in carrying us to these postseasons. This season his numbers were the worst numbers I’ve ever seen from anyone EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ALL OF BASEBALL. It doesn’t matter that even while struggling, he still managed to hit 30 home runs and 125 RBI’s. We should have kept Cody Ransom at third.

A-Rod was horrible all of this season. He slumped this year, and was even worse in the playoffs. He hasn’t performed in most Octobers. Therefore, he sucks and we need to get rid of him.

Derek Jeter is old, tired, and can’t hit anymore. He needs to retire.

We also need to get rid of this CC Sabathia loser. Losing in the ALCS is unacceptable. He is one of the most unreliable pitchers ever in the history of the world. He clearly doesn’t have what it takes to be a Yankee, and he obviously never will. 21 wins or not, Sabathia must go.

Mark TeixeiraWhile we’re at it, let’s get rid of Mark Teixeira. His early-season slumps are getting old. Also, how dare he get injured when we need him the most? It looks as though his entire career will be full of injuries. Not to mention he made a ton of errors at first base.  A TON! Like… three, or something. Really, Teixeira is so over the hill. He didn’t make three errors last year and we won the World Series!

What? He made four in 2009? Oh…

Whatever. He still got injured, and didn’t hit for a couple of months. Let’s dump him now before he costs us any more championships.

You know who else we have to dump? Our entire bullpen. Anyone not named Mariano Rivera has to go. Even Mariano is done, but I’m choosing to be reasonable and give him another chance. Dump the rest of our bullpen, though. They’re garbage.

Curtis Granderson and Brett Gardner also must go. Bring back Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui to take their places in the outfield. Don’t tell me Matsui has bad knees, and Damon can’t throw a ball to his own mother. We won a World Series with Damon and Matsui. We’ve never even made it to the World Series with Curtis Granderson. That’s all the logic I need.

With the same logic, we need to bring back Melky Cabrera. Robinson Cano misses him, evidenced by Robbie’s 2010 numbers.

A.J. Burnett needs to be taken out back and shot. Done.

We need to put Phil Hughes back in the bullpen, and move Joba Chamberlain back into the rotation. This was the setup in 2009, and we ended up winning the World Series! This is obviously the winning formula.

Brian Cashman is the worst General Manager in the history of the New York Yankees. Why don’t we have Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Jayson Werth and Carl Crawford yet? Clearly Cashman is awful at what he does.

You know what? The Yankees are done for the next decade. We need to dump everyone and start over. Actually, I’m not waiting that long. I’ll just take a break from baseball until they do.

If you agree with everything I wrote in this blog entry, do us all a favor and jump off the bandwagon.

The Comeback Kid

I’m back, I’m ready, and I have a lot to say.

Many of you were readers of my old blog on MLBlogs, and you might have wondered why I stopped blogging. Without getting into great detail, my life went crazy all at once. The few months since I’ve blogged have been full of changes, both good and bad. These changes have kept me from blogging, and writing about my main passion in life: The New York Yankees.

While I was away from blogging, I continued to watch every game, living and dying with every pitch. What an emotional roller coaster we went on this year! The good was very good, but the bad was also very bad. We struggled, we fought, and in the end we were heart broken. Last year we were World Champions, this year we are not. Here’s to hoping that next year will see us back to where we belong: On top.

We’ve all had an insane year that ended with disappointment. I’ve had a crazy season on a personal level, but I am making my comeback. I’m picking myself up, brushing off all the bad, focusing on the good, and I’m making my return.

I must say… It’s great to be back.

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